Refresh His Heart

Philemon | June 15 – 21, 2023

Edited by David Anthony and Samantha DeVore

Philemon is Paul’s shortest epistle in the Bible at just three-hundred-thirty-five words. But don’t let Paul’s brevity cause you to view this book as unimportant. Philemon is a delightful story, a wonderful illustration of reconciliation, forgiveness, and redemption.

Paul opens with a reminder of his standing in Christ, then offers a blessing from God the Father and the Lord Jesus. But notice what Paul does next in his letter to Philemon. Before Paul gets to the issue at hand—forgiveness of a former servant who stole and fled—he reminds Philemon of the great love he (Philemon) has for Christ and all the saints, and how the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through that love.

4 I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, 6 and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. 7 For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.

It's a lesson in diplomacy and tact, reminding me of a quote often attributed to Charles Spurgeon: “More flies are caught with a jar of honey than a pot of vinegar.”

After reminding Philemon of his heart’s great capacity for love, Paul entreats Philemon to forgive, in Christian love, his formerly “useless” servant, Onesimus, who had stolen from him and fled. Onesimus, Paul assures Philemon, is now a “useful” brother in Christ. In fact, the name Onesimus means useful or beneficial. But notice this: Paul wants Philemon to receive Onesimus not on command, but of his own accord.

10 I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. 11 (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) 12 I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart… 14 but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. 15 For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, 16 no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.

Paul is writing to secure Onesimus’s emancipation. He’s asking Philemon to not only forgive Onesimus’s crime; he’s asking him to set Onesimus free—out of love for Christ.

The Bible makes a solid argument against slavery. The Bible tells us we were created by God, made in His image, made for Him and by Him. God tells us through the Bible that we are cherished members of His holy church, redeemed from sin by Christ, bought with His precious blood. The Bible tells us we belong to God, not man—that we have one Master, and He is Christ.

With that in mind, if we belong to the Lord, we are brothers and sisters in Him. And if we are brothers and sisters in Christ, shouldn’t we—just as Paul is pleading with Philemon—make every effort to reconcile with one another? Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:23-24…

23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

To be reconciled with another person requires forgiveness, even when forgiving is hard. Knowing this, Paul vouches for Onesimus, showing Philemon that he trusts in Onesimus’s redemption, trusts that he is a new creation in Christ, no longer a thief but a brother and servant of the Lord. But Paul goes beyond vouching for Onesimus; he takes his debt upon himself, promising to repay Onesimus’s debt in full.

17 So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. 18 If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. 20 Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.

It is here that the gospel makes a cameo appearance. Paul doesn’t owe Philemon anything but tells him to charge Onesimus’s debt to his account. Did Jesus commit any sin? No. Did I sin? Did you sin? Yes. Did we have a debt to pay to God because of our sin? Yes. Were we able to pay that debt? No. So who did? Christ. He stepped in and said, “Charge it to my account.” Jesus paid our debt upon a cross, redeeming us before our Father in Heaven. It’s more than good news. It’s beautiful!

In verse twenty, when Paul says to Philemon, “Refresh my heart in Christ,” he’s saying, “Give my heart rest.” What would give his heart rest? What would refresh Paul’s heart? That Philemon would forgive Onesimus—that he would set their brother free.

Paul then entrusts Philemon to do the right thing.

21 Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.

Philemon had a legal right to his servant, Onesimus. By the world’s standard, he could do with him what he wanted. But in Christ, Philemon was compelled to forgive and reconcile with Onesimus, to set free his brother in the Lord. Paul knew Philemon would listen to his heart, to the prompting of God, and do the right thing.

Let me ask you this: Is there something, anything, that you are hesitant or failing to do that Godly love would compel you to do? Maybe God’s prompting you to sacrifice a few hours each week serving others through ministry. Maybe He’s prompting you to feed the homeless or needy, to help the elderly or visit nursing homes. Would God’s love for you compel you to love them?

Maybe God’s calling you to honor your father and mother more. Be a better friend to someone. Maybe God’s calling you to forgive somebody. Maybe you’ve been holding a grudge against that person. Would Christ’s love for you, in you, and through you, a sinner, compel you to love the one who sinned against you? Would God’s forgiveness of you compel you to forgive that person?

Perhaps you’re holding fast to some right you believe you have. Would your standing in Christ compel you to let that right go? Didn’t Jesus give up His divine rights for you? For me? Didn’t He set those rights aside, willingly, and go to the cross for each of us? Die a horrific death for each of us?

Imagine if He hadn’t. Imagine if He didn’t love you that much. If He didn’t love you at all. Imagine if He hadn’t redeemed you before our Father. If He didn’t intercede for you in prayer. Imagine if He felt you weren’t worth the sacrifice—that you weren’t worth the effort.

Thankfully, God does love you and I! In fact, the Bible says God loves us so much that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him. (John 3:16-17)

If God loves and forgives us that much, shouldn’t we try to love and forgive one another? Shouldn’t we put forth the effort to live in harmony, like a family of believers?

One last thought: it pains God’s heart to see His children take His love and hoard it. God poured out His love for us through His Son, Jesus, who died in our place upon the cross. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life—the only way to God. He is the Light of the World, and we are called to be His light-bearers. How will others see if we don’t bring them the light?

We are His witnesses, and we witness best by loving and forgiving others, as He did us.
By doing that, God’s heart is refreshed.

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